Update #1

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Seems like the government is getting tough on people now a
days! Or no I can’t say that, their tough on everybody but not their people. I
don’t want any trouble with the government, don’t get me wrong folks . Because
truly after what I’ve been through I don’t give a shit about people in this
town, since they are satisfied with the humiliation and injustice they are
living through, why should I fight for them!! I tried! But nop , not anymore !

So the story is , this guy Abu Yazan got arrested for no
clear reason, read this blog and you will get more information about his story.
 http://gazanism.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/freeabuyazan/
. What I’m saying is, why?! Why now you care dear green government! Since
you’re working on your projects and talks with the other yellow half of the
government, news talking about good intentions and working together for a
better future to this land!! huh ! how is that possible when you still grab an
activist ass like him into a prison for now clear reason ! lets say he’s in
trouble or whatever you’ll put on him, his family got the right to know if he’s
ok ! if he’s alive ! its simple human rights !!

The funny thing, since its Ramadan MBC1 puts these kind of
shows about religion and stuff, programs related to spiritual talks, so there
is this program called khwatir 7 – got plenty of hash tags on twitter such like
#k7  #khwatir #5wa6r – one of the
episodes was talking about how they treat prisoners in Norway ! did you guys
know they got a library inside the prison and a supermarket too !!! my point is
where the fuck is Islam in this Islamic city Gaza under this Islamic green
government !!

Btw Ramadan kareem everybody! huh

Something else that is very spread among people over here,
everybody is not happy !! what is wrong ?! oh sorry wrong question I guess . I
mean What is Not wrong in your lives ?!! every one of my friends is not
satisfied, its either the daily suffering life is growing on them, or people
are not leaving other people to live in peace ! so its like this , if you are
baring daily life there are some people who are not going to let you get out
with that with gossip, lies, creating stories, whatever they can do to pull you
down ! well yup they will do that no matter what , bec you have to be miserable
just like them !! but if your not baring the daily life , ummm well that would
be enough lol ! no electricity  no water
sometimes no enough money siege occupation and not even going to the drama of
the air strikes from time to time !!! the problem is, we are not even trying to
fight back !! people gave up ! they want to leave or travel ! they want any way
, any other fucking option but not to face reality and demand a better life !!
how sad is that ! how come people call themselves living when they don’t
deserve to breath !

Another thing I’d like to share, I like this movie called
public enemies. I don’t know if anybody watched it before! but its acted by johny
depp . yup I bet many people will want to watch it now . I like the story , even he’s
a bad guy basically a bank rubber but I can’t hide it no more, I have a thing
for bad guys… many deep feeling in this movie – my thoughts – so I wanted to
quote some thing , I found it very related to me and my messed up head ..

“ because they’re all about where people come from, but the
only thing is important, where somebody is going “

:)

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Where to start !! I’m a 20 years old girl who wants to live not only exist.

I see life from different perspectives.

 

Last year was for me more than just that, I was being patriotic in the land of fighters, but found out that most of those who I fought with and I thought that actually believed in this land and in freedom were looking for their own benefits. Won’t talk about it much because all it did to me was hurt ! and all it did to this land was disappointment and dishonor.

 

Ghasan kanafani said : “If we are unsuccessful defenders on the case .. Rather it is sufficient for us to change the defenders not to change the case”

It was a great experience that I’m proud of myself going through and I’ll always stand tall for what I fought for but dear friends you must know the truth, that knowledge is missing and faith is gone , Palestinians must rise up again but they need re-build !

 

I’ve been through knowing many people that most of them I’m not much pleased to know, because all what they did is either stabbing me in my back or took advantage of my good intentions !

 

I understood that social media is strong and must not underestimate it or misunderstand it, through it I got the chance to go to tunis this summer for a work shop under the name of al-jazeera network, creative commens, and nawaat . I met amazing people more than just intelligent and talented , they were real fighters and believers. They had the heart to say Free Palestine with no under table games. Through them I saw new future for the Arab region, through them I planted this faith inside me that one day Palestine could be free.

 

I had the chance to be part of Dewan Gazzah, basically maintains the most well educated and cultured people in town. Something I’m proud to be part of. Did much to this country way more than hurling stones or wanting to die for freedom, it’s the group that believes in creating life into this land and its people.

 

I’m twenty now, been through a lot in those two decades of my life.. I understand now that friendship is never easy to find and love is way harder. Rule number one is Everybody Lies! And if you want to be happy stop worrying much about people or tomorrow because both are not garneted.

 

I wanted to post something means more to me than it might be to you. Every time that something happens in this place that I love deeply “Gaza” I wanted to write about, but I find myself feeling more than words could explain, and finding more holes by days. Basically this blog is about Nalan. This girl that maybe one day can do something effective, something worth remembering.

 

I might be different now than before, my perspectives did change. And I believe that’s how experiences work.

 

I’ll keep believing in myself that’s the least I can do, and you keep updated with me because I’ll use the truth as my method which most people forgot about .

 

peace out.