From where I see the world . it is nothing like I thought it is . or I imagined it would be .

This morning I was in a gathering , mostly socializing , different ages were included and you can see in each person their generation issues . I was wondering if my issues could be read through my eyes as well . but all points I could match were mostly about Freedom and dignity .

We brought up the issue of electricity that all of the attendance pay its bills but never really have enough of it ! and I found out – not much sure of this info –  the bills we pay is not for Israel that pump us with electricity – unfortunately – but it goes for the government on our area and who knows what do they do with our money ! bec the electricity that comes from Israel who is our only source is paid by the PA Palestinian authority which locates in west bank !

But why did I bring this up ! bec I was thinking all day about where does my fuckin money go ! bec I would like to by a camera with high options to capture all the events in my life that is basically creating this creature who is me ! and I would like to help my friend in university that can’t pay enough to graduate ! maybe support some orphans I know who are in need and who lost their parents by different terrorism ways by our peaceful neighbor as it called .

when I stopped doing anything related to showing what I think to the world .. to be more specific . when I stopped showing what I Really think to the world . the image became clearer . no one can effect on you . you are the only observer . and I found out how much everything is missed up . and how much that is effecting on my life one way or another . I tried to sum up some of what I see .

Israel occupies my land . controls everything . and terrorizes me for saying No .

most people are starting to accept the idea and some just gave up on saying No.

what is left of my Palestine – my land – is authorized by two different governments , they also do not do that much of any kind of good job on that , they stopped saying no to Israel , and they don’t want me to say no to it , nor to them . so I am not allowed to say No .

I am a female so I can’t just say no to what I think is wrong and worth the word No .

Even though,

Israel said No to me when I asked its permission to visit my grandmother in westbank and she is sick .

When I say I want to resist this pain, siege,  and fatherless life . people say No.

When I said I want unity to be strong enough to fight the occupation and Zionism my two fucked up governments said No .

When a friend want to report a sexual harassment, males say No .

Interesting how small things could change people lives , by the way those are only some head lines in my mind before I go to bed . but truthfully who said the truth hurts didn’t lie . which is odd to find as well .

I still wonder if my issues could be read through my eyes , if a whole generation could have much pain in common than their taste in music . if you could read more in what I wrote than there is . I still wonder why do we keep denying our main issues just to keep living daily life when it is not even worth it without being free . without being free to say No when you deserve better .

NO because I deserve my country . I am worth living as a citizen . I am worth the world’s respect in airports . I am a human being with rights I want to know them in real life not only in books . I deserve a government which would protect me not beat me up . I deserve an authority that would fight for me . I am a female with the right to choose what she wants and how she wants to live .

– N


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