She panicked and called her sisters, just to come over and be there when an actual family support is needed. She said “I was alone with her at the house, it was too much for me to control even myself from shaking “.
She is a friend of mine. She maybe thought herself panicking but she knew exactly what was happening and how to deal with i , that moment her mother was crying because she didn’t find her son’s name – who is my friend’s brother – on the TV . She thought he was released with the latest convention between Israel and Palestine, about Palestinian prisoners . that deal held more than 1000 human beings who were in prison for no clear reason but loving their country so much that they are ready to spend the rest of their lives fighting even in prison, and who were released them last summer .
She told me her mother kept looking at the names on the TV and crying, as if he could actually be released. Because the fact is, he is not even alive .
This brother/son was the first person who did martyring operation from Gaza strip, he was a Jehadi means he is a member of Al Jehad Al Islami movement, in that time it was rarely known. Most of the family are members in Fatah party, it was a surprise. He was 18 back then, he was old enough to make his own decision legally, but to his mother he would always be her little baby boy.
She got some tears in her eyes, I wondered is it for losing her brother or for her mother losing her mind. My eyes got watered as well, but that didn’t keep me from thinking. Do I support this kind of resistance?
if yes, why ? Because I believe I shouldn’t wish harm for anyone even the ones who hurt me . but still deep inside of me, I will always wish them all vanish because by that I would still have my father right now here with me, I won’t be lost in this big world without my old man holding me tight , protecting me , and showing me how precious I am , I won’t be this 20 years old girl who keeps smiling just because I don’t want anyone to see how is it like to lose your father when your just 17 and you know nothing about the world but beauty .
and what if I say no , I don’t support it , then what do I support ? Peace?! As if I know what that means? They never gave us a chance to have peace, resistance used these methods because this is all what they got , no weapons to use, no governments to support, no one to help them survive , so they used their bodies . They do what any soldier would do for his troop to survive, just the labels are different!
I can’t understand how is it accepted for a soldier to kill, but for a resistant not to! They both have the same purpose I guess, they both love their country, they both want what’s the best for their people or at least for their families to feel safe home.
She told me that they – her mother and herself – tried to visit her sister in west bank afterwards, who got married before the martyring operation obviously, and for that you need permission from the Israeli authorities! Ironic! It’s like having a permission from the thief who stool your house to visit the other room, which very much your room in your house and very close to you as well!!
And for that , they send a rejection . it said : No, you are rejected; A mother of a terrorist !
Dear who ever read this story, I still can’t make my own decision. I think as just a human for a moment then I change to a very angry unforgiving person the next , but I can’t deny they both are who I am . However, the first one was my own piece of art , but the other was their own piece of shit .