Update #1


Seems like the government is getting tough on people now a
days! Or no I can’t say that, their tough on everybody but not their people. I
don’t want any trouble with the government, don’t get me wrong folks . Because
truly after what I’ve been through I don’t give a shit about people in this
town, since they are satisfied with the humiliation and injustice they are
living through, why should I fight for them!! I tried! But nop , not anymore !

So the story is , this guy Abu Yazan got arrested for no
clear reason, read this blog and you will get more information about his story.
. What I’m saying is, why?! Why now you care dear green government! Since
you’re working on your projects and talks with the other yellow half of the
government, news talking about good intentions and working together for a
better future to this land!! huh ! how is that possible when you still grab an
activist ass like him into a prison for now clear reason ! lets say he’s in
trouble or whatever you’ll put on him, his family got the right to know if he’s
ok ! if he’s alive ! its simple human rights !!

The funny thing, since its Ramadan MBC1 puts these kind of
shows about religion and stuff, programs related to spiritual talks, so there
is this program called khwatir 7 – got plenty of hash tags on twitter such like
#k7  #khwatir #5wa6r – one of the
episodes was talking about how they treat prisoners in Norway ! did you guys
know they got a library inside the prison and a supermarket too !!! my point is
where the fuck is Islam in this Islamic city Gaza under this Islamic green
government !!

Btw Ramadan kareem everybody! huh

Something else that is very spread among people over here,
everybody is not happy !! what is wrong ?! oh sorry wrong question I guess . I
mean What is Not wrong in your lives ?!! every one of my friends is not
satisfied, its either the daily suffering life is growing on them, or people
are not leaving other people to live in peace ! so its like this , if you are
baring daily life there are some people who are not going to let you get out
with that with gossip, lies, creating stories, whatever they can do to pull you
down ! well yup they will do that no matter what , bec you have to be miserable
just like them !! but if your not baring the daily life , ummm well that would
be enough lol ! no electricity  no water
sometimes no enough money siege occupation and not even going to the drama of
the air strikes from time to time !!! the problem is, we are not even trying to
fight back !! people gave up ! they want to leave or travel ! they want any way
, any other fucking option but not to face reality and demand a better life !!
how sad is that ! how come people call themselves living when they don’t
deserve to breath !

Another thing I’d like to share, I like this movie called
public enemies. I don’t know if anybody watched it before! but its acted by johny
depp . yup I bet many people will want to watch it now . I like the story , even he’s
a bad guy basically a bank rubber but I can’t hide it no more, I have a thing
for bad guys… many deep feeling in this movie – my thoughts – so I wanted to
quote some thing , I found it very related to me and my messed up head ..

“ because they’re all about where people come from, but the
only thing is important, where somebody is going “





Where to start !! I’m a 20 years old girl who wants to live not only exist.

I see life from different perspectives.


Last year was for me more than just that, I was being patriotic in the land of fighters, but found out that most of those who I fought with and I thought that actually believed in this land and in freedom were looking for their own benefits. Won’t talk about it much because all it did to me was hurt ! and all it did to this land was disappointment and dishonor.


Ghasan kanafani said : “If we are unsuccessful defenders on the case .. Rather it is sufficient for us to change the defenders not to change the case”

It was a great experience that I’m proud of myself going through and I’ll always stand tall for what I fought for but dear friends you must know the truth, that knowledge is missing and faith is gone , Palestinians must rise up again but they need re-build !


I’ve been through knowing many people that most of them I’m not much pleased to know, because all what they did is either stabbing me in my back or took advantage of my good intentions !


I understood that social media is strong and must not underestimate it or misunderstand it, through it I got the chance to go to tunis this summer for a work shop under the name of al-jazeera network, creative commens, and nawaat . I met amazing people more than just intelligent and talented , they were real fighters and believers. They had the heart to say Free Palestine with no under table games. Through them I saw new future for the Arab region, through them I planted this faith inside me that one day Palestine could be free.


I had the chance to be part of Dewan Gazzah, basically maintains the most well educated and cultured people in town. Something I’m proud to be part of. Did much to this country way more than hurling stones or wanting to die for freedom, it’s the group that believes in creating life into this land and its people.


I’m twenty now, been through a lot in those two decades of my life.. I understand now that friendship is never easy to find and love is way harder. Rule number one is Everybody Lies! And if you want to be happy stop worrying much about people or tomorrow because both are not garneted.


I wanted to post something means more to me than it might be to you. Every time that something happens in this place that I love deeply “Gaza” I wanted to write about, but I find myself feeling more than words could explain, and finding more holes by days. Basically this blog is about Nalan. This girl that maybe one day can do something effective, something worth remembering.


I might be different now than before, my perspectives did change. And I believe that’s how experiences work.


I’ll keep believing in myself that’s the least I can do, and you keep updated with me because I’ll use the truth as my method which most people forgot about .


peace out.

Ghazawi… Vittorio…


Vittorio has been active in the Palestine cause for almost 10 years. For the past two and a half years, he has been in Gaza with the International Solidarity Movement, monitoring human rights violations by Israel, supporting the Palestinian popular resistance against the Israeli occupation and disseminating information about the situation in Gaza to his home country of Italy.

Vic was more than this to me; he was my Italian friend who has a Palestinian heart. The brother for all Palestinians. who would sacrifices himself to protect fishermen and farmers. Who would say words and prove them with actions. The captain of the ship . the pipe, beard, and koffia.  The dude with big mussels and tattoos. The caring friend and brother. The supporter . the big hearted vic who would do anything to draw smiles on Palestinian people’s faces . with his smile you can feel faith. The believer. The ghazawi. The Palestinian. The hero . the martyr. Victor. Vittorio. I’m sorry . I miss you . and you will always be in my heart.

“One of his right hand’s tattoos was (resistance) المقــاومـــة! How sarcastic life is! He is a true believer“

today 15.4.2011 , we –the ones who knew Vittorio- gathered at the gallery café after the Friday prayer, most of us knew him in person some just saw his smile here and there. A lot of media coverage which is good so the whole world would know that not all Palestinians and gaza people like the gang which killed him , and also it was annoying bec. We needed some space to hold each other and be there for each other and remember him in peace.

I was talking to one of my ISM friends , Selvia , she’s also Italian and close friend to Vic , she said “ when they kidnapped him we didn’t believe it , when the news of his death came out we didn’t either, even when I saw his body and it was him Nalan it was him , but I just can’t believe it “

One of my questions to my friend, Nathan an American ISM activist, too, was: “what your plans now?” he answered powerfully: “if you’re asking if the ISM leaving, no we are Not . What happened to Vic give us more power to stand up by the Palestinian people“ I was amazed with his answer, I said in my mind you guys are such believers, and I know you are feeling scared but hell yes you are No cowards.

“our tears will never dry on you Vic”

We started managing for the march to al Jundi square – the Unknown Soldier sq. – where our sit-in was for couple of hours, and then we headed back to the gallery café, planning for the sit-in in front of the UNDP with candles later at night. Before the march to al Jundi, we prepared posters was talking mostly about victor, our pain for losing him and our demands for the government to punch the murderers!

candles for you our Hero Vittorio

we lightened these candels for you as you lightened our lives with your smile and belief.. we sang you your favorite song “onadikom” i’m calling you… we sang some other songs full of pain, lost, proud, faith, and much more tears within… we will never forget you Victor.. i will never forget you…


Last time I saw Vic was couple of days ago at the beach restaurant, we caught up, life, Gaza, work, study. We shacked hands, I said bye, he said keep in touch! Which is unusual for my Vic to say , he usually ciao or Salam or any other Italian word which could amaze me and make me laugh ! It rang in my head! But I ignored it as days would come and go and we will meet again. But days went and took him with it and didn’t bring him back. I didn’t know that some people mean what they say deeply sometimes. I’m sorry Vic I wasn’t there to protect you. Or to hold your hand as you always held ours in bad times before good times.

“He used to call me the most beautiful Palestinian journalist! And I call him now – if you can hear me – YOU ARE MY HERO! brother I will always miss you“







Who did you lose because air strikes by Israeli attacks?

How much pain you felt because of losing your beloved ones?

Why would you dry your tears in silence when you can shout out?

Why to suffer like this? When your right as human is to live in peace and be safe?



you will enjoy,too :



All for one, and one for All


The march began

The news are growing fast , the demonstration started today after many small ones and moves in many different places, started from university and college students , rising the Palestinian flag, calling and demanding for ending the division and for Unity to start , open-ended sit, and declaration about press conference today at twelve noon sharp.

I’ll tell you about when I arrived to Al Jundi Al Majhol “the unknown soldier” square, more than three thousands youth protesters demanding for division to end, rejecting for any party intervention, and the best prove was putting down the leaders from leftist movements or any neutral characters on the ground, and muzzle their mouths, because one way or another they’re part of the depression we’re living.

At  four o’clock the insistence of staying started to root among protesters even before the known day, hunger striking , and holding signs wrote on them people want to stop the division , and another we’re not going away..

Some of the events as it were on twitter:

–          Demonstration of youth holding their luggage and some main tools for camping, shouting: we’re not going away; we’re not sleeping, until we end the division.

–          Another gathering for the mothers of the martyrs holding signs and photos of their suns.

–          Some neutral characters joined the sit-in, declaring their objection of the division situation.

–          Started building first sit-in tent.

–          Medical association donates a tent for first aid and emergency.

–          Some as called neutral characters and other parties trying to use the people’s will and clam the wave.

–          Meeting of the prisoners in the Negev and support the youth in the streets.

–          Cutting the electricity from the street lights in Al Jundi Al Majhol “ the unknown soldier” square.

–          Hamas movement builds a platform in Al Jundi Al Majhol “the unknown soldier” field.

–          The people and youth are insisting on staying in the place


< via Bashar lubbad http://networkedblogs.com/fpqzi >

8th of March ! Women’s Day ! #mar15


On the women’s day , palestinian women were demonstrating . but this time not demanding for usual rights . it was about their main right as palestinians . UNITY

Palestinian woman at a demonstration in gaza

at the beginning of the day, i didn’t want to go . i was afraid that we will get arrested or police men will attack the demonstration with one way or another . then i thought why am i scared . its my right as a women to participate . its my right as a Palestinian to be there . my friends were going , we went together . the number of women and people in general was amazing . more than thousands . being there made me feel stronger . as i can fight for my right and get it . i enjoyed being part of it . and i believe if we got that number in march 15 , we will win the UNITY .

these are some video from the demonstration, i took while marching :




my friend Eba and I . in the demonstration

Pearl –o–


for what you felt I write this, not for tomorrow .

he was from a good family, house, car, he was cute, caring, got charming smile. but he never got your heart, even though he got you. you married him because the one and only thing you thought about is your family, how to make them happy again, together again. no more divorce fights, nor money ones . but you forgot to think about yourself. you forgot about your heart , your future, and your happiness. your own happiness.

you were a little girl didn’t past the teen area yet , got married ! I remember when it was time for the families to talk. you called me crying , you didn’t want it to happen , you were still young in your eyes as in mine . but you took that deep breath that I would never forget, told me this is my destiny . I have to do that for them, I don’t want to be selfish anymore. now I wish you were selfish at least that moment !

you were the most beautiful bride i ever saw, but your marriage didn’t last . because the mask fall. he turned to be a cheap selfish coward bitch ! he hurt you so many times, his family did,too. then ended the story by hitting you and disrespecting your father ! after more than a year , now your finally divorced ! I wish I can apologize for saying this word, because it hurts me that you just turned twenty and you had to feel and go through all that ! but also happy because you got read of him and hopefully one day of his memory,too! how sarcastic life is !

maybe if i tell you that a lot of the Palestinian young girls under twenty are divorced, you would feel better ! but what a shame ! who is responsible of that !? now, you understand more . and you know how it is hard to take such decision, and how its important to think about your own future in more effective ways. now, you also wish if your family were less selfish and thought of you a bit more !

my beautiful best friend , I am sorry I wasn’t there enough to stop it . I’m sorry that I’m telling the world that the happily ever after stories are not true , exactly like santa in christmas ! I’m sorry I told you that all couples fight but you have to be patient with him . I’m sorry for a lot of things . most of all, I’m sorry that you’re not the only one !


all girls, all women should know , you are as beautiful as the pearl . if he doesn’t appreciate you as he should . you deserve a better heart to sleep in every night and live through every day . my beautiful , you are my pearl , and this time I’m taking care of you forever . no one will ever hurt you again. no one will ever treat you wrong . I’m here for you always , I’ll make you stronger because tomorrow is a better day . I know it . and you deserve nothing but the best !