Libya #FEB14 ! UNITY #MAR15 ! and ME !

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since i was born in Tunisia , my mother is Libyan , and my father is Palestinian . i thought talking now is basically my time.

from what my mother – the only Libyan here in Palestine – said and how she described Libya, I’m already in love with it. and from what I’m watching right now about the revolution over there and how it turn to a war – so much as our war here in Palestine again the Israelis – i adore it . and my goal for next summer to visit the free Libya

my last visit to Tunisia, which wasn’t that far to be more precise, last summer 2010 , showed me the beauty of that green land and its people, and how liberating they are, and most amazing, they have faith in our cause the Palestinian maybe more than a lot of Palestinians do . Part of my family from Libya came over there , we all met in Sousa – an amazing city on the beach – we enjoyed summer with them . and for me specially, i enjoyed family .

now after all whats happening in Libya, i maybe got closer to Allah because of how much I pray for them! i try to keep in touch with them through internet but it’s not easy as it sounds . being worried is killing . I wish I’m there with them , at least I’m used to the war feeling, for me personally i rather day fighting than peacefully as most people wish . for my mother she would rather be with her family of course, but with all the stress that she’s living, i guess being here is way better for her health . how sarcastic is that !

what I realize now is , I’m basically a revolute, not only by choise but by blood,too. I’m proud of being half Libyan half Palestinian, and also belongs somehow to Tunisia . so now it’s time to do something for you my beautiful Palestine . to show you how much i love you . and how much being yours is my destiny .

on march 15 , we all will demand for your unity , there is no more west bank and Gaza . its Palestine . your my Palestinian . your our Palestine . this is the truth . this is what we all should fight for . no matter what we will sacrifice . my father sacrificed his life for you so as my grandfather . and so i am .

we should all Palestinian for get all colors, we’re all from one color . the Palestinian color, remember it ?! no its time to remind the whole world of it . its time to fight for it . you and i together my brother , my sister , together we will get our freedom . if some people forgot that , we will fix that mistake.

Israel you better keep watching your back . our generation is stronger than ever . we are the brave hearts. we are the fighters .

from the heart <3

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first time i worked as a volunteer who’ve been actually  trained for the work was at Tamer institute .. as a book discuss ..

thats my first check , which i didn’t expect at all . i kept it as a memo ..

the funny story < as they call it >  is, the institute called me on the phone after a very long period , before the end of the last year . worried and asking me : why didn’t you get the check paid !!  Nalan : i kept it as a memo !   they spread the story as if  its something to laugh about ! when i came to seal the deal with the bank and the institute , signing papers that i won’t demand anyone for the money . they didn’t believe it . i meant it when i said : it means to me more than just work .

kids are angels , the chance to read books with them and discuss it . getting into their world . is not work. its love through another way. Palestinian kids are different than the kids in movies or basically in any other country, they’ve been through hell.  No one would not get burned from fire ! right ! but the burns in these kids lives is way deeper than it sounds . far reaching impact.

the check wasn’t just a paper with some numbers on . it was a prove to me before anybody else . i can do something for more than just myself . i can act responsible towards my people . i can help .

“i’m not saying i’m gonna change the world, but i guarantee that i will spark the brain that will change the world” 2pac

other times with other kids at the memory of Gaza war that happened two years ago , with NZRA .. hopefully the coming ones even much effective and coming soon ..




letter # 2

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Letter # 2

My love that I didn’t see since year and a half… I don’t miss you… because this word not even one tear closer to what I truly feel…

When we said goodbye I remember we didn’t cry, and the hug was the witness on that… I remember that my feeling was I’m going to see you tomorrow, do our habits , dancing on the streets of Gaza, laugh and sing songs that don’t express but a little of what we feel towards life .. I remember I woke up and called you as you’re not on the border or us being apart is not our destiny… As our own habit – you and I – that melts in our cells sarcasm of what life did to us, and we didn’t finish yet our second decait with our breaths above.

Now, after two years of that robbery, which stool from me a lot of hope and from you even much more. I send you my second letter. The first wasn’t for anyone but you , it was full of tears on a father I don’t see every morning anymore to  drink coffee with, a father who doesn’t kiss me goodnight .. Full of tears on separation, and a lot of faith in Allah who I love but he doesn’t love me back, Infidelity of destiny and a lost battle of love finished with no tears… this letter is different .. I am different… today I don’t see you next to me even though I know you feel me closer… I see myself with new friends, I like them, and tell them about you more every day without tears… my love, I know that you know my words don’t mean any abandonment  but more hope in meeting you, and more love for the eyes of al Maha and for a Moroccan house I adore. I know that you know we’re growing, and nothing from us tore anything inside us , and nothing from them killed anything inside us but a little of rockets, shrapnel and some burns left big prints on our future together ..

This letter has some of faith in life, and in Allah who loves us so much and we love him more every day… you’re in France these days, visiting your beloved sister and her bigger family now with their new born. Waiting from me a message to call me… I don’t want to admit it, but I’m scared… you’re voice terrifies me. I’m scared to miss you more, to feel pain and go back to infidelity of destiny… I’m scared to feel your weakness, that would break my body again and that I won’t go back on holding tight in waiting for hope that might come tomorrow in anytime… I’m worried that both of us would be waiting for love and tender in the same moment… that we would be lost in the dilution of us together which I become professional at… but with all my weakness I know you’re the only one who can make me stronger with one laugh or a word we used to share or maybe a French accent that might amaze me till I revolute on life.

Today we’re at our second year of university, you are in Switzerland and I am in Palestine… You long for her, your house and for days on a beach drowned us in his love… For an Arabian meal, for friends who knows you, for your bed that you adore its pillow, that you don’t sacrifice it even for me! you’re new friends love you no doubt, who sets with you for one time recognize your special character and how its filled of multiple corners that aren’t known even internationally. But none knows you the way I do, you might eat caned macaroni together, dance on house music, walk in beautiful streets, and drink hot chocolate together with a failing try for study… but they never knew her pretty Moroccan skin, nor when you were laughing together after a Moroccan conversation that I didn’t understand any of it but I have to laugh now.. They didn’t know you’re house before and after. Nor your room that was burnt by the occupation, they didn’t see you crying as a crazy Juliet lost her Romeo but didn’t find the poison to kill herself after wards, they didn’t watch you sleeping till the morning terrified to lose you .. They didn’t know your highest weakness… they didn’t hold your hand when everyone wanted to know the story, and you didn’t hold theirs when the chair crushed their fingers… you didn’t watch 4 movies in the same night together  just to not remember anything from the reality.. They didn’t give you their cloths when all of yours were burned, they didn’t kiss you before you go to sleep in the dark… you didn’t say goodbye for each other shaking… they don’t love you deeply, they don’t need you desperately .. But with all of that I wish they value you and never try to lose you for a moment…

My days recently are filled with wondering about the future, because I know the past we could never change, and destiny is written already… I was talking to our Tunisian, French colored friend. That we might meet together after two years, all of us in France in the same time of the years as now.  You and I together again, him and some beautiful friends that you know.  Surf its streets, as revolutionists on our destiny… I wish that so much! Our dear Tunisian friend, you introduced me to him when I visited Tunisia this summer, you didn’t leave me even there… you practiced your tender habit and hocked us up with his family, too. He used to study with your sister Bessan and her husband in university… he knew you. You don’t know how much I enjoyed smelling you from him… he knew my love… he saw her recently in this time last year. He was so generous and hansom. He knew how much I love you from how I spell your name… I wished to see you there… I had this stupid theory that just when I step out of Gaza I’m going to see you on the other side… naïve! I know… but in Egypt I met my precious Syrian friend Sarah with a Palestinian heart… we were close friends in secondary school and life separated us… but we met again… I enjoyed Egypt with her… we talked a lot, cried in each other arm… Laughed so much with our third faithful friend with no selfishness… We ate koshari and bought clothes with new memories… all of that gave me more faith in my heart to meet you soon.

Life never left us from its hard days even after two years… even in Switzerland which we thought it might be the safe shelter, maybe because it’s a neutral country. You moved from a department to a college building to another department, to a house might be warmer with an old lady. You try to focus on your study… but I want you to know whatever you do I’m proud of you… Christina the one with the rocked heart didn’t woke up from the shock or get over the situation in grey’s anatomy season seven. You know how much I love this series; its drama isn’t temporary exactly as reality. But you did… I needed a lot of time to realize how much I became dark inside me but I did in the end… we stepped one step forward… it’s a great establishment. And who says anything but that, they’re Zionist no doubt.

I long for a cup of tea with you and a fireplace… today am very cold with no rain… Gaza’s sky didn’t cry for awhile… maybe it lost its faith of the land to plant people who could love deeply and fight with dignity… or maybe it doesn’t know how to rain again after the land rain on it with blood… I found out today that the sister of ihsan’s husband is with me in university, we go to this class where they teach us religious thoughts don’t relate to Allah or how to love him more… she gets sad every time she talks about her died brother.. Till she showed me his picture, I told her we’re friends and I lived the whole story with them… I didn’t care much about her face changes after wards, you and I know why… but all what was spinning in my head, the day when Ihasan showed me her wounded body, designed with killing shrapnel… as if she was showing me prints of her heart’s death, her heart which didn’t love but that man who lived as a lover and left her as a martyr..

Love, I long to you more just because of thinking, and worried more just because of remembering…i send you a rose, a tear, and two kisses… The rose for your precious memory of her in your heart… the tear for the long destines that separates us… and the two kisses the first for you, and the second for tomorrow that will hold us together… remember me deeply not much.. Laugh louder and never hesitate to revolute… living with regrets on things you did is way better on living with regrets on things you didn’t do…

I’ll send you my third letter in a closer season with no tears between its lines nor sadness in its heart… and I’ll leave all the letters for you to draw and all the songs for you to dance and all the love for you to enjoy with your own traditions… just stay safe, and live free as I always loved you..

 

Real joke

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Yesterday I watched a standup comedy show on YouTube, and what I really liked about it that the subject was how the media shows the wrong image about Arabs, and much more…

The standup comedy is a style of comedy where a comedian performs in front of a live audience, usually speaking directly to them. Their performances are sometimes filmed or released on TV. It shows serious thoughts in a comedy style as sarcasm and jokes. In my opinion, it’s a way to show and tell what you can’t seriously say, which makes it more acceptable to many people who usually do not accept criticism or you can not criticize them.

One of my favorite acts among a lot more:

Russell Peters – the comedian – said: “every time we watch the news, we find some country fighting an Arab country, do you know what that means? “Asking the audience, answering himself back: “Arab countries are unbeatable, you can’t irritate them. And who you can’t irritate you cannot beat “

Adding: “Before America attacked Iraq they warned them “acting as an American:”we’re coming to attack you!” acting as an Iraqi: “OK!” acting as an American again talking to himself:” I think they didn’t understand!”  Trying again slowly: “we are coming to attack you!” acting as an Iraqi:” OK. You coming welcome yalaa yalaa “ acting as an American getting mad ,talking to himself : “ seems that we have to break it down this time “, “ we are coming to Kill you !: acting as an Iraqi now : “ Huh . You kill me! F you. I KILL ME AND YOU “

The audience after this part was laughing out loud. The way he presents the whole idea, they way he acts it, and even choosing the right words. All that shows how good he is. He said things you usually don’t hear in other serious shows, and that what makes it more realistic to me and more powerful.

Hearing or watching facts only in a standup comedy show, this is the real joke!