A government that forgot how to love its country !

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The 9th of may, 2012 was a very busy morning, an exhausting night, and something in the middle of it shocked me till I blow up inside in ! I’m pretty much stressed bec of the filming for my university but I am sure as well that what happened today was true, not an illusion .

The short film I’m working on with my team from my university in the beginning was about the movie theaters in Gaza city, but bec of some difficult circumstances we changed the idea to the supporters in Gaza for the hunger striking in the Israeli prisons .

Couple of minutes in our film was managed to include the Palestine Fest Of Literature crew from Egypt, as an international support , to give a stronger statement for the human nation stand in the pal-hunger cause. so we went as planned to meet the crew where they were meant to make their last event at Al Basha castle at 5 pm. we tried to make the interviews before the event but that was very difficult to happen bec they were organizing and focusing on their event . so we decided to stay for awhile maybe we get to interview one or two during the event then interview the rest after wards .

Suddenly interrupting the event , I see this young lady wearing a white shirt walking after a man and takes her camera back from him and shouting in his face “ ITS NOT YOUR RIGHT مش من حقك “ !! I believe she’s from the crew . then couple of other men came in talking about shutting down the event ! then I saw Tareq Hamdan jumping from his seat yelling in their faces “ by this you distorts our image in the world “ – “ this is wrong “ . the man who turned out to be from the police told tareq to shut up but tareq yelled lauder “ No I am not going to shut up “ . the crew tried to control the situation by calming down everyone from every side , but that didn’t do much for any .

 the authority for some reason didn’t want the event to continuo , the audience wanted it to continuo, the crew wanted to know WHAT IS GOING ON !?

All that happened of course after the electricity was off, we all thought it was the normal schedule timing but apparently it wasn’t ! so basically there was no mikes nor speakers to make the event more hearable . but even thought they continued by the demands of the audience not to care and keep the event on. the beautiful band Askanderala came into the middle and wanted to start the music but then the official statement for the authority of the government took place , they wanted to shut down the event . there was a man from them filming the audience and everyone who was there – which was very shameful and despicable – so one of the crew or the audience, I am not sure exactly, filmed them in return so they attacked her of course . and gave an order to evacuate the place .

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Everyone was shocked – I mean the crew was shocked – then tried to know what to do . everyone wanted to stay . everyone thought by their little minds as normal humans what happened didn’t make any sense . why such an event must be shut down ? is this how we treat our guests ? why is it forbidden to know more about life ? more about joy ? about freedom ? how did a resistance movement turn into a dictatorship government ? how did someone who was ready to die for me and our land to have its freedom turn into someone who is ready to kill me and torture me ? and maybe occupant me more !

I said to Alaa Abd el Fattah “ so when you leave you tell the world what is actually going on over here . we can’t talk about it” . he yelled in anger saying “ you must talk about it . if you don’t , our words won’t make a change” . I said “we did then got beaten up and arrested “. he said “ get arrested , so what ! our revolution was based on 10 years of this kind of treatment ! “ – I felt I was a coward ! I couldn’t say a word . bec deep inside I know that Palestine deserves a better government , if not for us for the martyrs who fought for us , for this land and for dignity . for those prisoners who might die any second because of hunger . deep inside I know that this is wrong . but I also know that if I fought back, no one will take my back from my brothers and sisters .

 no one is strong enough to fight a government like this, they built every bone of it based of anger and hate , to wards Israel, USA, the international silence, Fatah, poverty, and humiliation . there was no place for love . then how come I would expect the policeman to love me and take care of me . to think twice before he arrest me !

Some girls cried in the event, one of the crew said “ when we fought in the revolution , we took the strength from you here , from the Palestinians “ – I felt so little after those words . I felt so little that I will never be like my father or my grandfather who both fought and died for the belief of this land .

The event was shut down as they wanted. the crew were shocked, mad, and ashamed of such a behavior . my team and I took our camera and left .

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All the way back to al jundi square , where I wanted to film with the supporters there , I was thinking why did they do such thing ?! I was feeling his huge pain in my chest. I was thinking about what Alaa said . I was wondering if I am a coward really or not ? or did I just choose to have different priorities , but if so would that make me a real Palestinian , would that honor my families line which is full of fighters and martyrs ?! what if I did something, would the society accept me or attack me with shallow and unreasonable judgments ! if I got arrested who will help to release me ?! Would I ever be released ? would I make a change !?

The ironic part , actually when I went to al Jundi and found out that Nabeel Shaath coming to visit the supporters , people waiting for him with yellow/Fatah flags ! So basically one of the main heads in Fatah party can come and practice the normal activity of a citizen in front of the media so everyone would say Hamas and Fatah are great and peaceful and good governments . but We THE PEOPLE can NOT !!

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I want to apologize for the Palfest crew, but its not my fault my government authority forgot how to love Palestine. I still do, and that’s why I am writing this. maybe now I go to sleep.

#PalFestGaza

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“We dream that we are other people or we are other people but we dream that we are us “ –Tareq Hamdan

That was Tareq Hamdan a Palestinian poet from Ramallah who got the chance to come visit the other half of his heart –Gaza

Those words kept ringing in my head all day, for a normal person maybe he would sound lunatic but for me, I felt I am not the only one on earth who wonder sometimes.. And that’s I believe the beauty of Art and literature. it explores the inside out . it opens you up in marvelous ways that one day you might be able to guide an army or more simply a generation to revolute .

Today was the first day of The Palestine Festival of Literature in Gaza -which you can know more info about through twitter #palfestGaza  or through their facebook official page < just type its name and you’ll find it > or by many other websites that follow its news day by day – this festival will be held for almost a week in many places here in Gaza . the blast among this all that an Egyptian crew of poets and writers joined the fest which gave it the best taste ever especially that it doesn’t only show how strong the word of literature could be to break even our siege but how strong the Arabs well became, and I honestly started feeling this since last summer workshop I attended in Tunisia for creative commons.

Today the 6th of may, 2012 there was a workshop at my university – Al Aqsa, it was held by the English and Arabic literature departments, but even though I study broadcasting and Tv it didn’t matter , when it comes to inspiration there are no limits , plus I was waiting for it so bad .

 Mr.Hedar Eid guided and coordinated the workshop which was great job as for usual, and it contained three beautiful and extraordinary poets who broke the siege by putting their feet on Gaza’s land from Egypt , first was Dr.Ahdaf who read some touching lines from her new book “Cairo, my city, our revolution “ as an opening for the workshop then started discussions with us about literature and its strength , the revolution and her experience , which included Mr.Khaled who is also an Egyptian writer – his latest books “ Taxi “ – who also studied political science which lead to many political conversations about the current situation in Egypt , and I’d like to quote him saying an amazing line which personally describes the right principals for any revolution  :

“ the change starts from the bottom to the peak . Not vise versa “

and added a clarification I’d like to share it with you , he said what the current authorities are trying to do, first spreading fear about the future and the results of the revolution , making people feel unsafe in their own land and homes , and most of all occupy the people’s lives by chaos, any kind of it . we also discussed  how is it for beginners to write, is writing a gift or not ? and how to develop it , and as a writer how to turn your pen into your weapon .

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And the third poet who took a special place in our hearts Mr.Tareq , who is originally a Palestinian from Ramallah . just to see a brother from the land I can not reach but still mine was an indescribable feeling . he also read for us some of his poetry from his latest book “ when I was a sperm “ which was really powerful, one was presented specially for Gaza when the Israeli terrorist authority attacked us for 23 days in a row in 2008/2009 , that war/holocausts that killed pieces inside of me, it took so much from us that we could ever talk about or write about or even cry about , it’s the bomb who took Maha’s mother – my bestfriend- , its also the bomb who created this little lunatic monster inside of me so that every time we get attacked I laugh instead of crying, I dance instead of dying, I tweet instead of hiding. Having Mr.Tareq was an unbreakable faith in Unity as well, it made me feel that we were never separated, we were always Palestinians, it was never Westbaner or Gazen.

Today was full of inspiration for me, full of joy and hope. it was a day to remember.

 

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The crew are planning to join the solidarity tents for the hunger striking Palestinian in the Israeli political persons at Al Jundi Al Majhol – the unknown soldier square – tomorrow . which was also a subject we mentioned through our discussions today . it will be a great matter for all of us to join as well and continuo even after wards .

“ you are not defeated until you accept defeat “

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