A government that forgot how to love its country !

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The 9th of may, 2012 was a very busy morning, an exhausting night, and something in the middle of it shocked me till I blow up inside in ! I’m pretty much stressed bec of the filming for my university but I am sure as well that what happened today was true, not an illusion .

The short film I’m working on with my team from my university in the beginning was about the movie theaters in Gaza city, but bec of some difficult circumstances we changed the idea to the supporters in Gaza for the hunger striking in the Israeli prisons .

Couple of minutes in our film was managed to include the Palestine Fest Of Literature crew from Egypt, as an international support , to give a stronger statement for the human nation stand in the pal-hunger cause. so we went as planned to meet the crew where they were meant to make their last event at Al Basha castle at 5 pm. we tried to make the interviews before the event but that was very difficult to happen bec they were organizing and focusing on their event . so we decided to stay for awhile maybe we get to interview one or two during the event then interview the rest after wards .

Suddenly interrupting the event , I see this young lady wearing a white shirt walking after a man and takes her camera back from him and shouting in his face “ ITS NOT YOUR RIGHT مش من حقك “ !! I believe she’s from the crew . then couple of other men came in talking about shutting down the event ! then I saw Tareq Hamdan jumping from his seat yelling in their faces “ by this you distorts our image in the world “ – “ this is wrong “ . the man who turned out to be from the police told tareq to shut up but tareq yelled lauder “ No I am not going to shut up “ . the crew tried to control the situation by calming down everyone from every side , but that didn’t do much for any .

 the authority for some reason didn’t want the event to continuo , the audience wanted it to continuo, the crew wanted to know WHAT IS GOING ON !?

All that happened of course after the electricity was off, we all thought it was the normal schedule timing but apparently it wasn’t ! so basically there was no mikes nor speakers to make the event more hearable . but even thought they continued by the demands of the audience not to care and keep the event on. the beautiful band Askanderala came into the middle and wanted to start the music but then the official statement for the authority of the government took place , they wanted to shut down the event . there was a man from them filming the audience and everyone who was there – which was very shameful and despicable – so one of the crew or the audience, I am not sure exactly, filmed them in return so they attacked her of course . and gave an order to evacuate the place .

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Everyone was shocked – I mean the crew was shocked – then tried to know what to do . everyone wanted to stay . everyone thought by their little minds as normal humans what happened didn’t make any sense . why such an event must be shut down ? is this how we treat our guests ? why is it forbidden to know more about life ? more about joy ? about freedom ? how did a resistance movement turn into a dictatorship government ? how did someone who was ready to die for me and our land to have its freedom turn into someone who is ready to kill me and torture me ? and maybe occupant me more !

I said to Alaa Abd el Fattah “ so when you leave you tell the world what is actually going on over here . we can’t talk about it” . he yelled in anger saying “ you must talk about it . if you don’t , our words won’t make a change” . I said “we did then got beaten up and arrested “. he said “ get arrested , so what ! our revolution was based on 10 years of this kind of treatment ! “ – I felt I was a coward ! I couldn’t say a word . bec deep inside I know that Palestine deserves a better government , if not for us for the martyrs who fought for us , for this land and for dignity . for those prisoners who might die any second because of hunger . deep inside I know that this is wrong . but I also know that if I fought back, no one will take my back from my brothers and sisters .

 no one is strong enough to fight a government like this, they built every bone of it based of anger and hate , to wards Israel, USA, the international silence, Fatah, poverty, and humiliation . there was no place for love . then how come I would expect the policeman to love me and take care of me . to think twice before he arrest me !

Some girls cried in the event, one of the crew said “ when we fought in the revolution , we took the strength from you here , from the Palestinians “ – I felt so little after those words . I felt so little that I will never be like my father or my grandfather who both fought and died for the belief of this land .

The event was shut down as they wanted. the crew were shocked, mad, and ashamed of such a behavior . my team and I took our camera and left .

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All the way back to al jundi square , where I wanted to film with the supporters there , I was thinking why did they do such thing ?! I was feeling his huge pain in my chest. I was thinking about what Alaa said . I was wondering if I am a coward really or not ? or did I just choose to have different priorities , but if so would that make me a real Palestinian , would that honor my families line which is full of fighters and martyrs ?! what if I did something, would the society accept me or attack me with shallow and unreasonable judgments ! if I got arrested who will help to release me ?! Would I ever be released ? would I make a change !?

The ironic part , actually when I went to al Jundi and found out that Nabeel Shaath coming to visit the supporters , people waiting for him with yellow/Fatah flags ! So basically one of the main heads in Fatah party can come and practice the normal activity of a citizen in front of the media so everyone would say Hamas and Fatah are great and peaceful and good governments . but We THE PEOPLE can NOT !!

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I want to apologize for the Palfest crew, but its not my fault my government authority forgot how to love Palestine. I still do, and that’s why I am writing this. maybe now I go to sleep.